Episode 472: Public Domain LASIK Voicemails
"Public Domain LASIK Voicemails" was originally released August 12, 2019. Description We have been smashed to pieces by our recent viewing of Hobbs and Shaw, which may explain the somewhat punch-drunk nature of today's episode. It's also possible we've been sprayed with some kind of Jason Statham neurotoxin. In either case: Enjoy! Suggested talking points: 5DXXX, Neighbor Lube, Buying Money, Potential Golf Family, Secret Chicken Debut, Chinning, Fun Facts Outline 0:45 - Intro. The boys saw Hobbs & Shaw in 4DX. It was soul-shaking. 9:26 - I was expecting a package from Amazon, so I tore into it, only to discover it was lube. I asked my husband if he ordered it, and he said no, so I checked the label, and it was supposed to be delivered to our next door neighbors. It's one of those amazon bags, so I can't conceal that I've opened it. We've had conversations with these neighbors, we exchange occasional texts, and our kids are similar ages, so they play together sometimes. Can't afford to move away and we'll have to interact with them in the future, so what do I do, brothers? - Slippery Situation 13:41 - Y - Sent in by Merit Palmer, from Yahoo Answers user Coca Cola, who asks: If someone was the most wealthiest person in the world could they buy the money factory where they make money and the federal reserve too? 19:36 - I work at a golf course, and a man who comes in on Monday nights for leagues has the same last name as I do. It's not really a common name, so I worry he might be a relative that I've been ignoring or vice versa. Should I say something? - Maddie 22:58 - Justin looks up some Justin McElroys on Facebook. One of them is "The Boss" at "Idontgiveafucktoanybody.com". 25:15 - I work in a very small office. There's five of us and we all have lunch together, so we've become pretty close over time. Sometimes when we're joking around, I'll do impressions/impersonations, and they aren't very good. They're very mediocre impressions of Muppets, Jack Sparrow, and other characters. I really just do them for a gag and that's it. The thing is, my boss thinks they're really funny, and he wants me to do the company voicemail using my impressions. I absolutely detest this idea. Our office is very small and I meet almost every client, and I don't want to be introduced as the guy who does the shitty Family Guy impressions. How do I tell my boss I'm not doing the voicemail? - Cringing in Clutch City 32:10 - MZ - Sponsored by Squarespace, Stamps.com. Advertisement for Mission to Zyxx. 37:01 - Munch Squad - Wendy's 2 Million Nuggets, Popeyes Chicken Sandwich 42:21 - Y - Sent in by several people, from Yahoo Answers user Tanajah, who asks: I found a picture of my husbands neck in his phone. It wasn’t anything on it but that’s so bizarre can somebody help me? 49:58 - I ordered a shirt for my boyfriend, but I incorrectly typed our address and had it sent to the apartment next door. Immediately noticing my mistake, I spoke with the resident of that address in person and explained the situation. He seemed disinterested but said he would keep an eye out. I tracked the order number constantly, and the shirt was delivered seven days ago. The same day, I asked my neighbor if he had seen the package and he said he had not received anything. Yesterday morning when I left for work, I saw my neighbor wearing the exact same shirt I was expecting. 51:00 - Since high school, whenever I've had to do one of those introduce yourself games, my go-to fun fact has always been that I can lick my own elbow. Inevitably, people ask for a demonstration, so it's pretty much the same interaction every time, and of course I don't have to panic about what to say. Now that I'm about to start law school, though, I'm worried that elbow licking isn't th most professional way to introduce myself to my classmates and professors, but I have no idea what kind of fun fact to replace it with. What are some examples of appropriate fun facts for adults? - Juvenile JD 57:21 - Housekeeping 59:27 - FY - Sent in by Merit Palmer, from Yahoo Answers user Root Beer Boy, who asks: Who else is listening to sad song all night? It is a track from sonic the hedgehog But it's a very sad song, I give it 4 stars Quotes Notes Category:Episodes Category:Munch Squad Category:Merit Palmer